Open Letter to lady who has something to say to everything

Dear White Lady I talked to today who had some ignorant advice every time I was just trying to make conversation,

You asked why I'm not in love with my home town. I told you I didn't have very good memories growing up there. Yes, your old, retired, formerly snow bird parents live there and it seems like a nice place to live. Yes, there's no snow there. But telling me about how good it is there doesn't make me like it because I lived there for 18+ mother-fucking years and know the town for what it truly is.

My home town is the only place Jimmy Hendrix said he would not play again. It's one of the first places that booed Andy Dick off the stage (I don't totally disagree with that, but there was wrong doing on both sides of that jackass convention). It's the only place where a beautiful woman DJing topless was booed into stopping her show simply because the crowd disliked her music (i understand she was not a half bad DJ and her top was off for Christ's sake . . . give her a break, loose boobies don't let you do battle scratching effectively).

But mostly I dislike my home town because of the racism that runs rampant in it. The highways outline the socio-economic and racial borders. In 2009 the town is still very starkly segregated and growing up there in the 80's was just that much worse.

So white lady . . . next time you tell me my hometown is not such a bad place and that I need to just spend more time there to appreciate it, remember that there is such a thing as white privilege and that it affords you luxuries like being able to say that my hometown is nice. Just remember that there are some places you can't go in that town because of the color of your skin. And more over, remember that I basically can't be comfortable any where in that town because of the color of my skin.

Sincerely,
YF

FUCK YOU BEST BUY

Let's slow down for a second.

I have a seasonal pet peeve. And that seasonal pet peeve is TV commercials that take well known Christmas songs and change the words (uncreatively, I might add) to hock their wares.

I'm talking to you Best Buy. Also Marshalls, TJMaxx currently and Old Navy from a few years ago.

I fucking hate so much!!!!

It's so infuriating. I can make better seasonal commercials than the ad wizards that shit this into a camera.

Before you say "Put up or shut up" let me stop you. I used to work production at a radio station. I have a decent understanding of what kind of media is well received and what is audio/video feces that makes educated people turn their radios off. Same concept applies in TV.

I'm so disappointed.

Jobs, Guilt and Shame

I'll admit that I have an over-developed sense of shame. I call it "Crushing Asian Shame" but we can save the argument of assigning ethnicity to that term for another time.

I've been looking for a new job for about 2 years. I've come really close and even gotten an unofficial offer over the phone for my dream job only to find it rescinded after the company changed their mind (inside source assured me it had nothing to do with any of my reasonable demands but rather internal finances).

I've interviewed at a lot of places in the last 2 years and I have mixed emotions about the situation I'm in right now.

Economy went bad and people lost jobs. I was lucky enough to keep mine. The program I work now is funded directly with stimulus money and, even though I'm pretty sure I would not have been laid off, I still guilty for looking for a new job.

Because of all this I feel like I'm asking for too much, or slapping fate in the face for letting me keep a job when I'm out looking for a new one.

Right now there are 2 companies checking my references and I fully expect an offer from at least one of them in the coming week.

And about 70% of what I feel is guilt.

Guilt at knowing that there are others struggling to find work. Guilt at knowing that for this job that I could be getting there are millions more that don't have one.

I try to take solace in knowing that the number of people applying for this job that are qualified to work the job are probably in the range of 2-10.

But I still feel shame from the guilt.

I feel like the best way to approach the situation is to just put those feelings aside for now. Maybe, if I get this job, I could donate some portion of my new earnings to those who could really use it. But it seems so selfish to donate to make myself feel good and I'm afraid that might create a new guilt shame.

When the job situation presents itself in a concrete manner I'll just listen to the voice in my head that sounds like my father. He always knows what to do.