Like a fiG6

8 am. I'm rolling in my hybrid with Far East Movement cranked to 11. Sipping coffee and nibbling on a fig newton, not ackin' like I'm drunk.

Is this acceptable?

Yes, because it's fruit and cake.

Oversensitive Much?!?! - NASA Edition

So I'm being oversensitive here for comedic effect.

------------------------------------------------------

No one wants to smell your stinky fish in space.

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/11/01/in-space-no-one-wants-to-smell-your-stinky-fish-meal/?hpt=T2

If NASA wanted to institute the "No Asians in Space" rule then this was the way to do it.

Come to think about it NASA could stand for "No Asians in Space Association".

Screw you NASA, I'm bringing my fucking fish and I'm having it with fucking fish sauce in fucking space.

Crushing Asian Shame

Joe Kurihara has been arrested for public intoxication. So drunk that he forgot that he had a 3 year old to take care of. The boy is fine but I'm pretty sure the whole family is totally embarrassed.

I'm hoping this isn't what it takes for Asians to go mainstream in the US.

My parents shamed me so much before I was 3 years old that I was deathly afraid of the police (also partly because we called them "Stinky Police", a hold over from the Philippines where almost all police are corrupt).

I actually thought that at any time the police could come take me away for anything mildly offensive. From missing the garbage can to peeing outside the toilet bowl.

As I got older I noticed that cops didn't care about this stuff and that a good deal of them were too fat or too stupid to keep up.

I try to always think a few steps ahead and predict the consequences right before I go through with the action. Joe probably should have done the same.

I like to notice things

I the past few months I've been noticing married Asians more often. And in doing so I've been doing some informal data mining.

I've noticed that the 4 of the 5 Asian women I've seen married to White men had highlights.

While only 1 of the umpteen Asian women married to Asian men have had highlights.

I think that is very, very interesting.

Discuss . . .

Dear Anthropologie,

Why is everything in your store overpriced?

Most of it, I'm sure, is old "new stock" from the 50's and 60's and the clothing is not high quality enough to warrant the price.

You do have nice things, but again, they are overpriced.

Please lower your prices so I can let my significant other spend more time in your store and possibly buy some articles of clothing.

-YF

Floor Refinishing

Today marks the day that my home can start receiving the treatment a home deserves. And by association it also marks the day that I can start relaxing about the state of my home.

I officially took ownership of my home late August and found a distressed home that, while a recent construction, needed some TLC to get back to a condition deemed liveable by me and my lady.

This included painting and refinishing the floors. 2 things you should really do before populating the house with furniture and other "house crap". So the last 4-5 weeks have been a mad rush to choose a paint color (we landed on the contractor's "go to color" Navajo White after looking at lots of different non-white colors, BTW Behr Premium Plus Ultra Paint is worth every penny of $33 per gallon because you only need 1 coat to mask vastly contrasting colors), getting holes in the walls plugged and buying all sorts of crap for the house itself.

And today the floors have received their final coat of polyurethane.

At this point we're coming up on, hopefully, the last month of ridiculous expenses (for a while) and maybe we can just come home, close the drapes, have some privacy and just relax.

I hate having to watch my TV on a computer monitor. I like having my computer hooked up to my TV for a reason. Call spoiled. :-P

The pragmatist in me says that I'll be spending lots of money for a long time to come, though. This is where being raised by parents that grew up in poverty kicks in.

Where do I buy as much of my stuff as possible? Discount stores like CostCo and Ocean State Job Lot. Do I ever pay full price for anything? HELL to the NO. Daddy always has a 10% off coupon in his wallet.

Dear Basement Wall

Dear Basement Wall,

Why did you have to form a stress crack from the corner of the window to all the way to the basement floor?

Why do you have to leak water whenever it rains. Not alot of water but maybe a 2 ft. diameter puddle.

Why can't I plug you with DAP masonry caulk? I even injected it into the crack using a syringe and narrow applicator.

Rest assured, I will own you when I decide to finish the basement.

Your floor will be sealed and leveled, then tiled. Your walls will be sealed and covered with sheet rock. And you will be filled with laughing, playing children.

Enjoy your quiet, leaky days while you can.

-YF

Young Face or 21 Jumpstreet

I turned the age where kids aren't supposed to trust me anymore. In fact I've been this age for almost a year and things have changed for me, but the way people treat me hasn't.

When I was in undergrad people thought I graduated highschool early and asked me, without first confirming, what it was like to be a minor in college.

When I was in gradschool, middle schoolers hit on me (that was partially my fault because I would monopolize the "Pump It Up" dance machine every weekend). People thought I was 19 when I was 26.

When I worked on Jet Engines, all the old people thought I was 22 but I was at least 5-8 years older than that.

Now that I'm starting a new job, I have some facial hair going on. I am the evil twin of YF from the parallel Star Trek dimension. I've made it a point to be a little more agressive and to let people know that I am not to be trifled with.

It is illogical to fuck with me.

But this young face I have is still not going to earn me the respect that reflects my experience.

No comments about how you wish you looked young too. It's a double edged sword and yes, I will enjoy it when I'm 50 and look 35 and people say, "WTF? You're 50? I thought you were 35."
Yah . . . 21 Jumpstreet

Security System

**NOTE: I feel like I'm coming off as paranoid after the last post and now leading into this one. This post was written a few weeks ago and hasnothing to do with the hordes of Neo-Nazis and KKK members hunting me.**

I'm putting up surveillance cameras along the perimeter of my house. The cameras will be inside the house and recording video only so I won't be violating any laws.

I'm trying to figure out if I'm walking the line between paranoia and practicality for the urban neighborhood I live in or if I'm just nuts. But I'd rather err on the side of having cameras than not at all ( call me nuts).

So, stupid teenagers looking to steal my 3 year old, 46", LCD tv, look somewhere else because you're on camera. We don't need no ADD havin', pimple popping brizzles up in my condo.

Also . . . the neighbors back out of their spots really quickly and have all but admitted to me that they're not good at driving (yes it is easy to park in between 2 lines if you look down after the car stops and reposition). I'm afraid they'll back into my shit and then deny it. They seem to be in that "I'm 23 and I'm fabulous and I can't be held accountable for anything I say or do especially when I drunk" stage.

I'll make sure that they are held accountable. Ain't nothing I love better than bankrupting a 23 year old that damages my stuff.

-YF

Racism Sigh

My brother still lives in the town in which we grew up (in the deep south). Sometimes I pity him because of his surroundings and posts like these are why.

It's not right that people still rally to hunt down others unlike them. It's not right to execute a crime of opportunity when the opportunity is a colored person within range/convenience of your harassment.

I believe I've had far less interaction with White Supremacy groups when compared to my brother but over 27 years of living down there and more than a few run ins with Neo-Nazis and KKK members was enough for me.

I can't imagine keeping track of the subtleties of White Supremacists' calling cards and in my world i tend to keep things simpler. My run ins with the this kind of racism have forced me to learn 3 things:
1. You can't always run. You should try to run first. ALWAYS. Often racists are greater in numbers (by their design and acknowledgement of their cowardice). They are also often prepared to go after you should you run.
2. Because you can't always run you should have a plan B. My plan B is knowing enough self defense and dirty fighting to get myself out of a situation. This includes carrying a 3" knife on my person and knowing how to use it effectively against an opponent bent on wiping my people out. I'm lucky enough that I haven't had to use plan B.
3. Always be vigilant and pick and choose the places you go. Southie? No, thank you. I'm pretty sure I'm not welcome there. West Massachusetts? No, thank you. That area is one of the fastest growing in terms of White Supremacy groups/militias. The outskirts of any city where the land is unincorporated and people actually grow their own food? No, thank you. This is where racism seems to breed in this country.

I hope, since I chose to live in a metro area with a higher concentration of Asians, I won't have to worry about any of this any more.

"If it ain't White, it ain't right." is not something I care to hear again.

New Job . . . AGAIN?!?!??!!? WTF?

Yeah, I got another new job. I'll have 3 W2's to worry about next year.

Don't make me tell the whole story . . .

It was a cold winter morning in November of 2007. I was going into "QT Pie Industries" for an interview for my dream job of making the future robots the military would use. I had the interview, kicked its ass and got an offer over the phone. An hour later the offer was rescinded.

The reason I was given for the rescinded offer was purely financial and their middle management was pissed that they couldn't hire me.

Then through the next 3 years I would interview no less than 6 times for multiple positions within the company, some having nothing to do with robotics. The HR was perfectly wonderful but they kept getting blocked by the upper management on hiring for specific positions that I interviewed for.

My last interview was earlier this year and was never resolved even though I thought they needed people right away.

Now the upper management has been replaced and is stable. They called me in a few weeks ago and basically scheduled an interview without really discussing it with me (that's okay because I trust their HR). I felt like the interview was almost a formality.

So now I'm going to start there soon. I'm excited to get back into DoD contractor work again and my career will thank me for making this move.

Now I need to resolve the guilt of leaving my current job after only 3 months and the other guilt of having changed jobs twice in a year where 1 in 10 people don't have jobs.

I'll be in my basement lashing myself if you need me.

-YF

WTF

Why are people finding me under the search term "Young Asian GF's"?



It's wrong for so many reasons.

Crushing Asian Shame: Molly Wei

Oh Bitch, hell no.


Molly Wei did something pretty unconscionable to Tyler Clementi at Rutgers University.


Gay or not Tyler Clementi does not deserve to be secretly taped during sex and then exposed via webcast of said taping.

Your parents didn't raise you with enough crushing Asian shame. Now you face your peers and a world that will judge you for what you've done.

Ma and Pa . . . no, not those ones

So I'm effectively married.

I have bling-bling on my thing-thing (ring on my finger, get your mind out of the gutter), I bought a house with my lady, we live together and share finances via joint account.

I also told my fiance that in marrying her I marry her family. This is my modern Chinese philosphy. In traditional Chinese philosophy I totally own my fiance and she is now a part of my family, but that is some "ol' boolsheet" so I'm gonna put a stop to that kind of thinking right now.

But now it's gotten to the point that I should be calling her parents "Ma" and "Pa".

This is definitely something new for me that I hadn't put alot of thought into. I'm definitely not against it, it's just that I've never called anyone "Ma" and "Pa" beside my own parents.

It's a little strange.

My fiance's brother is back and he brought his wife with him. My mother-in-law calls him "my brother".

It's all new and it'll take a while get used to.

Open Letter to other Neighbor

Dear Hispanic People that Live on the Other Side of Me,

You're perfectly nice and your kid's cuteness more than cancels out his vuvuzela blowing (yah he's that cute). But, you asked where I was from, and when I replied "Florida" you seemed disappointed.

You the said, "I mean where are your parents from?"
I said, knowing where the conversation was going, "The Philippines."
You said, "Oh you're Filipino?"
I said, now happy that this part of the conversation could be over, "No, soy Chino."

You said, in English, "Oh, you speak Spanish."
I said, "Creci en Florida."

Why do hispanic people keep mistaking me for hispanic? Yah this guy wasn't sure so he asked but even in Florida people on the street would call me "paco" or ask me the time in spanish. It's happened less in MA but is still strange that anyone would mistake this Chino for Mexicano.

Please tell your friends that I'm Chinese, but that I'm glad to answer in Spanish when forced to.

-YF

Transmission Braking

New Manual Transmission - $3000 installed - once every 10-15 years
New Brakes - $500 installed - Once every 7 years

Do the math, jackasses.

Don't use your transmission to brake, because when you do your brake lights don't come on and I don't know you're stopping until after I'd like to.

Also, transmission braking wears out your transmission really quickly. If you do it all the time and at highways speeds (like some clean-late in the black volvo S70 did) your transmission won't last but a few years.

Also, the highway is not a rally racing course nor is it F1 and you are no Danica Patrick.

-YF

Open letter to next door neighbors

Dear Neighbors Who are Renters,

Please don't violate my private property, aka, my parking spaces. I know you just got out of school and life is hard because you're learning to live on your own and be grown up, but the furniture pads and other assorted crap on your part of the grass makes me think you don't care.

The 3 dogs and parrot that live in your house also makes me think that you don't care (especially when it's 50 deg F outside and your window is wide open for the world to see that your parrot is tucked into itself and freezing. I've taken care of parrots before and since they're from the jungle they like it warm and humid . . . dummies).

I know you feel like, since mommy gave you too much praise, you deserve 4 parking spaces (when there are really only 2) and to get any less is an injustice equal to racial segregation.

So park out in the street and treat me with respect like someone who's been out of school for 5 years and owns a house and is effectively married.

And if you tell me that you'll "bitch slap" me again for telling you move your car, I'll just tow you without any word. Do you "fucking hate" me now?

Best Regards,
YF

I bought a house

I bought a house. It's a nice, recent construction foreclosure.

The original owner was the builder and he started construction in mid-2006 and finished early 2007. Yah . . . that was a bad decision on his part.

But his loss is my gain.

I'm a regular at Home Depot and I'm learning lots of ways to improve the house cost efficiently.

What a boring post.

Karate Kid . . . (part II)

Remember this ignorant guy?

The other day he asked again if I saw "The Karate Kid".

There were so many other people I know he talks more often to in our gym class but he singles me out to ask that question again.

I told him, "I'm refusing to see that movie."
Ignorant Guy (we'll call him Iggy for short): "Why?"
Me: "It's racist."
Iggy: "How?"
Me: "Buy me a beer sometime and maybe I can find the time to explain it to you."
Iggy: ". . . . . . . . "
Me: "I'm not debating its merits as a movie and I understand that it's a great movie. I'm just not in love with the idea of perpetuating the problem non-Asians have differentiating distinct Asian cultures."
Iggy: ". . . . . . . "

People around me smiled their knowing smile of "we're sorry" and "please don't let him represent other white Americans."

They know better. I wish Iggy did too.

I'd rather not "Rock in the D"

I was on my way home from a business trip to Indonesia when my plane to New England left without me. I was left in Detroit to find another flight home when the jumbo-tron in front of the people mover flashed this gem of a marketing mistake:



All I got from this video was:
1. Detroit is full of 5 lb hamburger eating idiots that listen to speed metal
2. Apparently that is way cooler than having sushi
3. And also way cooler than meeting your gf's boring Asian parents. (for the record all parents are boring)

Thanks Detroit!
Thanks for perpetuating the "constant foreigner" stereotype. Thanks for setting race relations back about 20 years.
You sure put the "D" in douchetard.

Maybe I can make a "Jammin' in Japan" commercial that shows how fat, stupid and barbaric non-Asian Americans are.

Post-racial my ass . . .

I'm not white. Get over it!

My brother blogs too and he's been talking a lot about his own experiences with racism as of late.

He lives in something of a backwater town and is often singled out for being ethnic.

We're fairly close and his blog often sounds like mine but a more well spoken and cogent version.

He's not white. Get over it!

Why did you say that?

White Guy: Hey, man! How's it going?
Me: No Bad. How are you?
White Guy: Pretty Good. Did you see the Karate Kid?
Me: They misnamed that movie.
White Guy: . . . Kung Fu?
Me: Yup.

If I didn't actually know this guy I wouldn't have immediately suspected him of talking to me about the recent Karate Kid movie because I'm yellow. But I DO know him and my opinion of him is not exceptionally high nor do I think of him as someone cerebral or 100% aware of his actions.

In short, I'm pretty sure he asked me about the Karate Kid because I'm Asian and he associated "Karate" with my "Yellowness" to try and relate to me.

It's like that song "Kung-Fu Fighting". I'm not sure of it, but I think it was written by an African American trying to relate to Asians through Kung-Fu. F for effort. F- for poor means and shitty content.

Treat me like you treat other people.

In other news, someone today thought it was amusing that I called them a "mensch".
I think that's absolutely farkakte.

M&M and Asian American

I've been following Minority Militant (whom, to myself, I facetiously call M&M) for at least a year now but only tonight have I read his profile.

If you follow him, you'd know that he's going through some rough times and I simply wanted to show love and support for someone whose frustration I can at the very least imagine and at the most understand.

A few of the things I found poignant in his profile is the very honest communication of his frustrations and how simple it is for him to express the concept of "Asian American".

I don't believe that I can call myself "American" like some of my former racist friends insist. I'm still an outcast and I'm not going to deny the different treatment I get for being yellow by just saying that I am "American".

It's important to say that I am "Asian American" or if need be "Chinese American". For me, and I suspect for the Militant, this is simply our state of being. No need to question it. No need for further discussion until the post racial era gets here . . . if ever.

But, until then I show love and stand with other AA bloggers.

Papa

Maybe it's the stress . . . maybe it's the lack of sleep . . . maybe I need someone I respect to look up to . . .

I've been having visions and anxieties related to the passing of my still living father.

Long live my father. He's barely in his mid-sixties and in excellent health. He's quite active despite recent retirement but I just can't shake the anxiety of losing him.

It's probably no coincidence that this comes at a time when I'm being pushed to grow up myself. I'm looking to buy a house, being engaged, helping to raise a sister in-law and more over I'm struggling a little bit to fill the shoes of my new job.

At my age my father had been a university professor for 5 years with a wife and 2 children.

Time for sleep. I hear 8 hours of sleep makes you feel better. I wish someone told me that when I was growing up and getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night.

That's right . . .

It's a blog dump to make up for the lack of blogging in recent weeks, nay, months.



I'll probably turn out more like Kevjumba's father than Kevjumba . . . especially the part about the vegetables and the poo poo coming out easier.

But I do enjoy me some good loud booty beatz . . . this is my jam from highschool. I always imagined they were singing to me . . . . . .

Asian Lady Robots

I just bought 5 Asian Lady Weld Masks. One of them is for me.

I will look forever young while pretending to be Iron Man.

Oh . . . and Masshole drivers . . .

A holiday weekend does not a careless driver make!
Drive like a fucking idiot somewhere else and on your own time.

People joke that being yellow makes me a bad driver.

I got my license without studying (because I paid attention when my elders were driving) and I passed driver's ed. with an A+. I worked as a porter for a car dealership and regularly chauffeured clients across town, not only without incident but, with accolades that earned me multiple raises within a 3 month time frame.

Driving according to the rules is not that hard. Being a good driver isn't either.

Sigh . . . I need a beer.

Crossing the Road

My mother taught me that I should stop and look both ways to cross a road. And furthermore to only cross at a crosswalk and never challenge on-coming traffic. It's great advice especially if a vehicle should strike you within the crosswalk (you get to sue them for all they're worth if they hit you).

In MA the law protects pedestrians in the crosswalk.

But only in the fucking crosswalk (I'm talking to you Cambridge assholes) do you have right of way (and also legally protected).

I'm not going to slow down for you unless you are in a crosswalk. In fact I want to speed up when you cross the road (not in a crosswalk) while your face is glued to your iphone in your dick-head attempt to update your twitter and facebook.

And to the dried up old biddy that shouted at me for shaking my head at a jogger crossing the street where there was no crosswalk, I hope you die a horrible dismembering death when you try to cross the road thinking that you always have right of way as a pedestrian.

Fuck you, Cambridge pedestrians. Fuck you and the cars you don't know how to drive.

Canada . . . Why?

There is a wildfire burning in Quebec. It's smoky in Boston.

I didn't need more reason to be angry at Quebecois.

sigh.

Eliot Chang, you are my new hero.

Eliot Chang is the Asian comic I've been waiting for my whole life.

No bullshit accents, no self deprecating humor. No joke telling on terms that aren't his own.
He pushes some very touchy subjects but he comes out a winner after all the doubt. Trust me.

NSFW.

I knew it was one of you . . .

I was at a company team-building function at a local entertainment/bar venue. Let's call it Jill's near the Funway.

Everyone was having a good time playing pool, drinking beers and eating wings.

I ordered a Blue Moon and the waitress took a few seconds to tell me that they didn't have Blue Moon but have a very similar beer called "Choctaw" or something that sounded like that (it was noisy). During the exchange she looked directly at me for at least 15 seconds.

Enter the other Asian guy. He's 30 lbs lighter, about the same height and wearing completely different clothing. Oh yeah, and he also doesn't look anything like me, nor did he order a beer.

Fuck yeah, you guessed it, the waitress came back and tried to give him my beer while I was standing right next to him.

I tell her that I ordered it and that it was my beer.

"I knew it was one of you, " she said.

I turned to the other Asian guy and I just said, "I'll let this one slide".

I don't get white people confused. I don't get black people confused. I don't get brown people confused. And I don't see where someone who lives in a major metro area has any excuse for making a fucktard mistake like that.

Maybe I'll just start not being able to tell people from "southie" apart (south boston is a predominantly Irish, lower tax bracket part of town famous for their boston accents).

Sigh . . . It's just like all my minority friends say to each other, "They'll never understand what it's like."

Ethnicity, Taiwan and the Moderate Ex-Pat

I recently commented on 8asians about an article pointing out that Asians-American youth in California are the fittest kids in that state.

I facetiously replied to a question posed if Filipino = Asian. My reply was in the context of admiring Manny Pacquiao who recently won a boxing match with Josh Clottey. I didn't grow up with any Asian sports idols so I'd like to claim Pacquiao as Asian and someone who is like me that I can look up to. I also feel a closer connection because my parents grew up in the Philippines and I understand why Manny is so polite and generally happy. He fights with a smile on his face and makes every attempt to be cordial to someone he's punching in the face.

But back to my point.

Someone replied to my comment and used it as a soap box to preach about adding a category of Taiwanese to standardized forms.

I wish this guy would get off his high, Taiwanese horse.

The classification of ethnicity in America is a tool to determine someone's socio-economic status. There is Asian (generally those perceived as well-to-do from Asia), Pacific Islander (P.I.'s tend to be of a lower socio-economic class and lesser opportunity). I'm of the opinion that Hmong should definitely be it's own class since so many came to the US as refugees and that further more there should be a class of Asian that is considered "refugee" or otherwise disadvantaged so as to not constantly associate "well-to-do" with Asian.

This guy (not the guy that commented back to me necessarily) identifies as Taiwanese American. KUDOS!

I identify as "Chinese from Southern FuJian via Philippines". But our roots are still Chinese and our socio-economic is similar enough to "Chinese" to be grouped as such.

WHAT'S MY FUCKING POINT?!?!?!?

This is the wrong platform to fight this fight. Not on this blog post, not in the 2010 Census but, rather, in the international relations arena. Fight it in China, fight it in the government of the US as it applies to foreign policy. Fight it as China's influence grows (believe it, it'll grow fast from here on out). Fight it economically (China is messing with their monetary policy . . . what does that mean for all the money the US owes them?).

How can Taiwan be an ally to the US as China's influence grows?

Pick your fights and pick them well.

Follow the money, aka, "find the rich white man"

I've been shopping for a house with Bee (my soon to be fiance) and the broker/lawyer we're working with is a wealth of information. He makes great suggestions on where to live based on availability of public transportation, trends of where people with money are buying and where the greatest return on investment will be in 10-15 years.

What he has failed to calculate is that as a Chinese person, in a Chinese couple, I'd like to live where other Chinese people are. It's not about being away from White people or excluding any other ethnicity but rather being comfortable in finding sanctuary with those that most certainly share my values and traditions.

It seems to have never entered his mind that his clients would be concerned with that, but at the same time, he may not care.

This all led to a terse and slightly loud conversation I had with Bee on the T. It started with "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NEAR A BUNCH OF WHITE PEOPLE!" and ended with a softer discussion about white privilege. During that time I got some knowing looks from the Black girl sitting nearby and some unhappy looks from the progressive Whites on the train that undoubtedly feel they don't belong in a group identified as having White privilege.

I don't feel guilty at having brought the conversation into public but I do feel guilty for presenting my STBF (soon to be fiance) with my past demons. She understands the concepts, but not the intense feelings I have on the subject.

I'm lucky that all she wants is to help me but she still doesn't know how. The worst thing about all this is that I've created a situation where she feels lost and detached from me and I'm not sure how to let her into that part of my life.

I am slowly trying to organize those feelings and find a way for her to understand the intensity of the kind of discrimination I grew up with and it starts with my suggestion to her to read Lac Su's "I Love Yous are for White People".

Until then, we'll keep looking and with the emphasis that we should live near other Asians.

I know what it's like to live in an all White community. I cherish the diversity/tolerance that it forced me to cultivate. I'd like my children to be able to grow up where they can adequately form their ethnic identities before being faced with those that constantly question their identities whether through curiousity or pig-headed ignorance.

Six, Three, Zero . . . sigh

In the past 2 months I've been on at least 6 interviews. I've gotten 3 job offers.

1 offer was at a company where I would be doing something I didn't care about but with a huge raise. At least that would have been better than my current situation of not caring about what I do and crappy pay.

Another offer was a contract position in a volatile industry. The pay was in the six figure range (a 40% raise for me) and was enticing. But the commute would have been more than an hour each way and I would have to live in fear that I would be dismissed any day.

The offer that was the best was from a medical robot start-up company. Exactly the same work I did in grad school with the opportunity to be in on the ground floor of something that might be great. Unfortunately I wasn't sure about the product and the overly ambitious time line and vague promises of benefits led me to stay at my more stable position.

So where am I now? At home, sighing and feeling guilty for lamenting my job situation when others don't have jobs.

Sigh . . .