Open letter to next door neighbors

Dear Neighbors Who are Renters,

Please don't violate my private property, aka, my parking spaces. I know you just got out of school and life is hard because you're learning to live on your own and be grown up, but the furniture pads and other assorted crap on your part of the grass makes me think you don't care.

The 3 dogs and parrot that live in your house also makes me think that you don't care (especially when it's 50 deg F outside and your window is wide open for the world to see that your parrot is tucked into itself and freezing. I've taken care of parrots before and since they're from the jungle they like it warm and humid . . . dummies).

I know you feel like, since mommy gave you too much praise, you deserve 4 parking spaces (when there are really only 2) and to get any less is an injustice equal to racial segregation.

So park out in the street and treat me with respect like someone who's been out of school for 5 years and owns a house and is effectively married.

And if you tell me that you'll "bitch slap" me again for telling you move your car, I'll just tow you without any word. Do you "fucking hate" me now?

Best Regards,
YF