Eliot Chang, you are my new hero.

Eliot Chang is the Asian comic I've been waiting for my whole life.

No bullshit accents, no self deprecating humor. No joke telling on terms that aren't his own.
He pushes some very touchy subjects but he comes out a winner after all the doubt. Trust me.

NSFW.

I knew it was one of you . . .

I was at a company team-building function at a local entertainment/bar venue. Let's call it Jill's near the Funway.

Everyone was having a good time playing pool, drinking beers and eating wings.

I ordered a Blue Moon and the waitress took a few seconds to tell me that they didn't have Blue Moon but have a very similar beer called "Choctaw" or something that sounded like that (it was noisy). During the exchange she looked directly at me for at least 15 seconds.

Enter the other Asian guy. He's 30 lbs lighter, about the same height and wearing completely different clothing. Oh yeah, and he also doesn't look anything like me, nor did he order a beer.

Fuck yeah, you guessed it, the waitress came back and tried to give him my beer while I was standing right next to him.

I tell her that I ordered it and that it was my beer.

"I knew it was one of you, " she said.

I turned to the other Asian guy and I just said, "I'll let this one slide".

I don't get white people confused. I don't get black people confused. I don't get brown people confused. And I don't see where someone who lives in a major metro area has any excuse for making a fucktard mistake like that.

Maybe I'll just start not being able to tell people from "southie" apart (south boston is a predominantly Irish, lower tax bracket part of town famous for their boston accents).

Sigh . . . It's just like all my minority friends say to each other, "They'll never understand what it's like."

Ethnicity, Taiwan and the Moderate Ex-Pat

I recently commented on 8asians about an article pointing out that Asians-American youth in California are the fittest kids in that state.

I facetiously replied to a question posed if Filipino = Asian. My reply was in the context of admiring Manny Pacquiao who recently won a boxing match with Josh Clottey. I didn't grow up with any Asian sports idols so I'd like to claim Pacquiao as Asian and someone who is like me that I can look up to. I also feel a closer connection because my parents grew up in the Philippines and I understand why Manny is so polite and generally happy. He fights with a smile on his face and makes every attempt to be cordial to someone he's punching in the face.

But back to my point.

Someone replied to my comment and used it as a soap box to preach about adding a category of Taiwanese to standardized forms.

I wish this guy would get off his high, Taiwanese horse.

The classification of ethnicity in America is a tool to determine someone's socio-economic status. There is Asian (generally those perceived as well-to-do from Asia), Pacific Islander (P.I.'s tend to be of a lower socio-economic class and lesser opportunity). I'm of the opinion that Hmong should definitely be it's own class since so many came to the US as refugees and that further more there should be a class of Asian that is considered "refugee" or otherwise disadvantaged so as to not constantly associate "well-to-do" with Asian.

This guy (not the guy that commented back to me necessarily) identifies as Taiwanese American. KUDOS!

I identify as "Chinese from Southern FuJian via Philippines". But our roots are still Chinese and our socio-economic is similar enough to "Chinese" to be grouped as such.

WHAT'S MY FUCKING POINT?!?!?!?

This is the wrong platform to fight this fight. Not on this blog post, not in the 2010 Census but, rather, in the international relations arena. Fight it in China, fight it in the government of the US as it applies to foreign policy. Fight it as China's influence grows (believe it, it'll grow fast from here on out). Fight it economically (China is messing with their monetary policy . . . what does that mean for all the money the US owes them?).

How can Taiwan be an ally to the US as China's influence grows?

Pick your fights and pick them well.

Follow the money, aka, "find the rich white man"

I've been shopping for a house with Bee (my soon to be fiance) and the broker/lawyer we're working with is a wealth of information. He makes great suggestions on where to live based on availability of public transportation, trends of where people with money are buying and where the greatest return on investment will be in 10-15 years.

What he has failed to calculate is that as a Chinese person, in a Chinese couple, I'd like to live where other Chinese people are. It's not about being away from White people or excluding any other ethnicity but rather being comfortable in finding sanctuary with those that most certainly share my values and traditions.

It seems to have never entered his mind that his clients would be concerned with that, but at the same time, he may not care.

This all led to a terse and slightly loud conversation I had with Bee on the T. It started with "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE NEAR A BUNCH OF WHITE PEOPLE!" and ended with a softer discussion about white privilege. During that time I got some knowing looks from the Black girl sitting nearby and some unhappy looks from the progressive Whites on the train that undoubtedly feel they don't belong in a group identified as having White privilege.

I don't feel guilty at having brought the conversation into public but I do feel guilty for presenting my STBF (soon to be fiance) with my past demons. She understands the concepts, but not the intense feelings I have on the subject.

I'm lucky that all she wants is to help me but she still doesn't know how. The worst thing about all this is that I've created a situation where she feels lost and detached from me and I'm not sure how to let her into that part of my life.

I am slowly trying to organize those feelings and find a way for her to understand the intensity of the kind of discrimination I grew up with and it starts with my suggestion to her to read Lac Su's "I Love Yous are for White People".

Until then, we'll keep looking and with the emphasis that we should live near other Asians.

I know what it's like to live in an all White community. I cherish the diversity/tolerance that it forced me to cultivate. I'd like my children to be able to grow up where they can adequately form their ethnic identities before being faced with those that constantly question their identities whether through curiousity or pig-headed ignorance.

Six, Three, Zero . . . sigh

In the past 2 months I've been on at least 6 interviews. I've gotten 3 job offers.

1 offer was at a company where I would be doing something I didn't care about but with a huge raise. At least that would have been better than my current situation of not caring about what I do and crappy pay.

Another offer was a contract position in a volatile industry. The pay was in the six figure range (a 40% raise for me) and was enticing. But the commute would have been more than an hour each way and I would have to live in fear that I would be dismissed any day.

The offer that was the best was from a medical robot start-up company. Exactly the same work I did in grad school with the opportunity to be in on the ground floor of something that might be great. Unfortunately I wasn't sure about the product and the overly ambitious time line and vague promises of benefits led me to stay at my more stable position.

So where am I now? At home, sighing and feeling guilty for lamenting my job situation when others don't have jobs.

Sigh . . .

Open Letter to lady who has something to say to everything

Dear White Lady I talked to today who had some ignorant advice every time I was just trying to make conversation,

You asked why I'm not in love with my home town. I told you I didn't have very good memories growing up there. Yes, your old, retired, formerly snow bird parents live there and it seems like a nice place to live. Yes, there's no snow there. But telling me about how good it is there doesn't make me like it because I lived there for 18+ mother-fucking years and know the town for what it truly is.

My home town is the only place Jimmy Hendrix said he would not play again. It's one of the first places that booed Andy Dick off the stage (I don't totally disagree with that, but there was wrong doing on both sides of that jackass convention). It's the only place where a beautiful woman DJing topless was booed into stopping her show simply because the crowd disliked her music (i understand she was not a half bad DJ and her top was off for Christ's sake . . . give her a break, loose boobies don't let you do battle scratching effectively).

But mostly I dislike my home town because of the racism that runs rampant in it. The highways outline the socio-economic and racial borders. In 2009 the town is still very starkly segregated and growing up there in the 80's was just that much worse.

So white lady . . . next time you tell me my hometown is not such a bad place and that I need to just spend more time there to appreciate it, remember that there is such a thing as white privilege and that it affords you luxuries like being able to say that my hometown is nice. Just remember that there are some places you can't go in that town because of the color of your skin. And more over, remember that I basically can't be comfortable any where in that town because of the color of my skin.

Sincerely,
YF

FUCK YOU BEST BUY

Let's slow down for a second.

I have a seasonal pet peeve. And that seasonal pet peeve is TV commercials that take well known Christmas songs and change the words (uncreatively, I might add) to hock their wares.

I'm talking to you Best Buy. Also Marshalls, TJMaxx currently and Old Navy from a few years ago.

I fucking hate so much!!!!

It's so infuriating. I can make better seasonal commercials than the ad wizards that shit this into a camera.

Before you say "Put up or shut up" let me stop you. I used to work production at a radio station. I have a decent understanding of what kind of media is well received and what is audio/video feces that makes educated people turn their radios off. Same concept applies in TV.

I'm so disappointed.